Friday, May 05, 2006

A mother's confession

There is no joy comparable to the pleasure of watching your children reach out to each other.

The past 5 months I have watched my two-year old grow from being the pampered baby of the house to a responsible anna who authoratatively tells me to feed the baby on time. It amazes me how much this little child learned in such a short time! How quickly he let go of his jealousy -- how easily it transformed into unconditional acceptance and affection. How large is his heart I wonder. If there is one thing I pray for fervently its that he retains this capacity to give -- or that I should not be alive to see him lose it. It would be more than I could bear.

And my younger one? He has eyes for no one other than his anna. He starts cooing and drools bubbles the minute anna comes from school. I have so often watched this baby smiling adoringly, just quietly watching as the older one chatters non-stop. And then, the most beautiful moment-- that rare second when the two calm down enough to connect. Anna gently holds up a toy for the baby to grab and the two laugh aloud in some secret joke.

In that moment I know they will be ok. When I am gone and I cannot watch over them, they will be there for each other. Each my half watching over the other half.

Where did they learn they are brothers? Did my womb teach them something even while I slept through the nights? The umblical cord that we threw away was an illusion. Its still there. Between these two. Holding them together, holding them safe. Advait and Vedant- brothers- my sons.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful :) I share similar thots when I see Niyathi and Manasi look at each other so adoringly and the look of total loss when they cant find the other.. its indeed great to see what they share :)

Vaish