Here I am. Redeeming myself. This is penitence for being 'absent' during peak rush hour at home. This is payment for being 'busy' at work all day. This is my fine for attending gym for an hour. Thats what it boils down to. Unspoken guilt. Unvoiced pressures. Implicit expectations. Spilling out of my kitchen's shelves, tumbling out of cupboards. Cannot be repressed. And only I hear them. Only I see them. I carefully gather them and place them back gently and shut the door firmly.
The strength of a liberated woman lies not in the act of independance, but in the forebearance of the consequences.
Reviewing my day, I am surprised I am still standing -- up at 5AM, worked non-stop till 4 PM, work out 4:30- 5:30 PM, shopping for formal clothes: til 7PM, cooking/serving dinner till 8PM, putting both kids to bed, running/folding 4 loads of laundry and now office work again.
And still...I am guilty. Judged. Condemned. What can I say? The blessing-- its not by Sri. The curse-- its mostly by me.
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